20+ Clever Schemes Workers Use To Avoid Doing Their Jobs

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 7, 2025 12:00 PM EST

It's human nature to be a little lazy. It's so fun to not do something you were supposed to do. Like John Mulaney once said, "In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin." He couldn't be more right. If you've been dreading something, the idea of simply not doing it is so attractive that it's amazing we do anything at all. Sometimes we forget we have free will as humans, and when we remember that we can actually do whatever we want, a sense of euphoria sets in. Once we realize we can stop what we're doing right now, buy a bag of chips, and call out of work, the world gets a lot brighter.

For centuries, workers have sought out clever ways to avoid the work they're supposed to be doing. I have to imagine that once upon a time, a dairy farmer was like "I can't milk the cows today, they all have cow disease" and everyone believed him and then he went home and took a nap. 

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  • 01
    "Had jury duty. It ended a week before I went back to work"
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • What follows is a collection of smart folks who have figured out how to avoid what they're being paid to do. Read on and get some ideas… or don't, and be a responsible employee. Your choice. 

  • 02
    Guys, what's a random scam you pulled off to avoid working?
    via u/themegapint
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    Classic move.

    A client once found our 30 page report too long. So I reduced the font size by 2 points and the report was 22 pages. He saw it and was like "guys this is fantastic"
    via u/themegapint
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    You want it? Well you'll get it.

    RJRoyalRules . 3d ago This one is just basic malicious compliance: at an old job they insisted we email our operations head an EOD (end of day) report with all the things we worked on during our shift, even though we had an online project management tracker where we also logged this information.
    via u/RJRoyalRules
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    They very easily could have made themselves easily- exportable reports but we were overseen by idiots. Anyway, after every step I took, I opened up my email and took my time adding it to the list. They wanted the EOD, they got the EOD.
    via u/RJRoyalRules
  • 06

    Tale as old as time.

    BroliasBoesersson · 3d ago Called in sick but here's the rub: I was perfectly fine
    via u/BroliasBoesersson
  • 07

    Important meetings

    A1batross 3d ago • I worked at Target corporate and sat two-to-a-cubicle with other contractors. Privacy and just alone-ness was impossible. Then I discovered these little two- person meeting closets on one of the floors. I'd schedule a "meeting" in that room, lean my chair back against the door with my feet on the other chair, and take a nap.
    via u/A1batross
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    crujones43 . 3d ago Had a job once cleaning robot weld cells with dry ice blasting. (Like sandblasting, but it just evaporates after). we spent 2 days cleaning the sh out of the robots and fixtures. It was had work. The blaster didn't get everything, so we did a lot of hand cleaning as well. The
    via u/crujones43
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    client called the owner of the company and told him we did a sh job and he was very unhappy. The boss sent us back in to do more. The only thing we cleaned on the return was the walls inside the cells. This has nothing to do with how the robots function. The client was so happy gushing about how thrilled he was on the great
    via u/crujones43
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    job we did. He only looked at the robots, but the room being brighter made everything seem cleaner, I guess.
    via u/crujones43
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    Cheezburger Image 10463331328
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    BigChiefBanos · 3d ago I was a problematic but productive serf at this somewhat large corp. Was well known to the HR dept, and knew that they wouldn't communicate much to my direct manager (plus there were numerous HR ladies).
    via u/BigChiefBanos
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    So from time to time, when I was "under the weather" and needed some time for myself I would tell my manager I was going to talk to HR, but would really go in the nursing mothers room (there weren't any there), lock the door and take a nap.
    via u/BigChiefBanos
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    Successful-Pomel... . 3d ago I have a work phone that shows me online if the Teams chat is open. Often, I play video games, cook, clean, take naps... while my phone and laptop show me as "available" I work from home and there are days where I don't talk to people internally.
    via u/Successful-Pomelo-51
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    Eaudebeau • 3d ago Had jury duty. It ended a week before I went back to work.
    via u/Eaudebeau
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    karenskygreen · 3d ago • One job I had many little projects for differnt departments and I was the only one who worked on them from my department except I had to report on progress.once a week. I would make progress but an hour before the status
    via u/karenskygreen
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    meeting I would fire off emails to the different departments asking for info on their project. So I could go into the status meeting saying it's done, almost done or it's back with the business, waiting for updates.
    via u/karenskygreen
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    Existential_Sprinkle 2d ago I adjust my pace to the amount of work I have to do so I don't get asked to do more work
    via u/Existential_Sprinkle
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    badhouseplantbad • 2d ago IT was in a different building downtown and I'd conveniently have long meetings booked with IT after lunch so I could go to the movies.
    via u/badhouseplantbad
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    Radiomaster138 · 3d ago . I gotta do that thing for it to work. (There was never a thing and I took an extra day to "complete" it.)
    via u/Radiomaster138
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    DoctorPhobos • 2d ago I was sick of overtime so I pretended I had impromptu lasik eye surgery. Spent some days recovering, stopped wearing glasses when I came back. Kept telling them I was working on getting that doctor's note if I could get a day off. I found it pretty funny
    via u/DoctorPhobos
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    Quick-Record-9300 2d ago Does taking long, unplanned, depression naps count as a 'scam' because I've certainly done that more than I care to.
    via u/Quick-Record-9300
  • 23
    kerouackid89 · 2d ago They wanted me to shuck oysters, I hate shucking oysters. Told them I was allergic.
    via u/kerouackid89
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    . WhitePinoy 16h ago I used to take 2 hour breaks at work without anybody noticing.
    via u/WhitePinoy
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    gypsysniper9 • 2d ago Pinkeye. Very contagious.
    via u/gypsysniper9

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boss antiwork workplace-stories toxic-workplace job bosses work coworkers working reddit story toxic-boss workplace reddit thread bad bosses Reddit toxic-work-environment
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